Knit Wits
Episode 1, Chapter 4
.:Spontaneity:.

Xan woke up and looked at her calendar. All over it were scribbles, revenge plots, X’s on days that happened wrong, checks on the ones that happened right, guns on the ones that were only so-so.

What day is it? She decided that it must be the 23rd, the first day of school. She looked back at the calendar. Written in the originally blank spot was one word: Massacre. Xan thought, panicking a bit, when did she write that down? Was it really her handwriting? Had she thought this out properly? Then... Why was she thinking about it now? What was wrong with her! It was a massacre, you’re not supposed to think about it! It’s supposed to be spontaneous!

And people said she had problems. Oh, she’d show them! How many problems could someone have who was spontaneous AND carried out massacres?! Not very many!

“Problems, indeed,” she muttered under her breath while searching under the bed for another knife. She already had Raul in her left hand, she just needed to find...

“Pumpkin!” She yelled, coming out from under the bed, holding something in the air victoriously. “Oh, my little pun’kin, we’ve missed you so much!” She started caressing a small pocket knife, “I know you’re small, but you know, small people make up for their height in anger and killing people... So will you!” she tucked “Pun’kin” in her shirt pocket and went downstairs.

When she got downstairs, her kitchen suddenly turned from an ordinary place to store food to a vast collection of prey and weapons, and ammo, and... was she swooning? She couldn’t very possibly faint, now could she?! The kids in school were expecting a massacre, and by God they were going to get one!

Xan started grabbing various sharp-looking kitchen utensils, chuckling to herself. But of course they DIDN’T know, because she was being SPONTANEOUS! The fools! They were going to be so surprised... She couldn’t wait to see the fear on their faces...

Xan burst through the door at school, holding all of the sharp things, and of course, her little pun’kin.

At first no one noticed, so Xan decided to inform them. After all, one had to be polite before chopping off the head of another.

“Excuse me,” she said, tapping someone on the shoulder with her longest knife, “I’m planning to kill everyone, do you think you could make an announcement?”

Suddenly everyone was running and screaming. Well this wouldn’t do! She wanted to torture them with fear AND pain. She couldn’t let them go around hurting themselves. That’s not how it works!

“QUIET!” Everyone stopped. “Now, get in a line.” Everyone got in a line. “Stop talking.”  Any mumbling stopped and everyone looked at her in fear. She thought a second... “Put your right hand in.” Everyone did it. “Take you’re right hand out” Again, they did it. Maybe, maybe they were scared enough to do what she said! “Now do the hokey pokey! AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!”

After that was settled she started ordering them to do more important things. First off, she summoned her minions, Adie, Netti, Rin, Haruko, and Aure, the lowest of course. Then they started ordering everyone around too, to help out Xan of course.

“Ah, the good life,” Xan said, leaning back and sipping from a drink with an umbrella coming out of it. “I’ve always wanted one of these.”

All of a sudden, someone threw down their rag. “You know what, I’m tired of this!”

Xan stood up, “Look, if you go back to work, I’ll let you off easy and you’ll only have to eat rats for a week. But if you keep this up...” she eyed her knifes, stroking Raul who was, as always, in her pocket.

He stared at her in defiance and picked up the rag.

“That’s what I thought,” she said, sitting down. All of a sudden, he had thrown the rag at her face!

“Oh, that’s it, I’m going to have to kill you now!”

“People!” he yelled, “Why are we doing what she says? Why are we listening to her? There are more of us! I say we take her down and make HER do all the work!”

Xan looked around uneasily. She didn’t like what was happening, people were looking around, looking like they agreed with him talking and, oh-my-gawd, were they, were they looking at her? And, and coming, her voice cracked, at her?!

All of a sudden she was surrounded by an angry mob of people, pleading for her life. How did a simple massacre turn into this?!

They brought her into the boiler room. People were screaming all sorts of things, mostly “LET’S THROW HER IN!” They brought her up to the top of the boiler, and were about to drop her when-

“OUCH!” Xan jumped up in her bed, sucking her thumb. “Damn you Raul, you always wake me up 3 minutes before the alarm!” She reached over her bed, ripped off a now bloody band aid, thew it away in a wastebasket full of them, got a box that was oddly accessible, got a new one, and put the box back.

“I should just stop setting it,” she said, as she got up, taking her knife with her. “You know, you’re lucky you got someone so forgiving as me. any NORMAL person would be chopping carrots with you right now. At least I let you get a piece of meat every once and a while,” she said, winking at her reflection in the knife.

She set the knife on a pair of nails so that it reflected her face at the perfect angle and did her make up. She then dressed, put the knife in her pocket, as always, and went downstairs.

She saw a bowl of cherries, and, smiling, mashed them up in a bowl and splattered it everywhere. Then she poured the rest on a doll that was torn up and beat up to a shocking extreme.

“Oh I wish Mommy would stop messing up the kitchen, I always end up late to school because I have to clean it every morning!” She grabbed a knife from the counter and stuck it in the doll’s chest. “There, perfect.”

She then placed the doll on the floor and opened a drawer, pulled out one of many folded notes, and left it on the table. It read “Suicide Note”.

“Darn, I was hoping for a boyfriend homicide. Those are always the best...” She was taken out of her thinking by the bus horn, though, and ran outside. “Come on Raul, we’ll be late!”